YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Houston, we have a squirter
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
