i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
