And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize