I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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