Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
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