just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize