U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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