Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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