he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
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