yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I got inside last night via doggy door
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
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