so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
