I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Randomize
