it wasn't lemon gatorade
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
someone owes me an orgasm
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
i think my cat just said my name.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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