i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize