I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
