bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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