This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
