no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Fuck me I smell like cheese
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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