Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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