I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
How does one acquire holy water?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
