Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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