just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
