I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
