Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
