I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
