No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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