I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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