im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
