spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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