I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
