I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
