i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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