HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Blood and glitter go together right?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize