She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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