I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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