closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
