I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
