Your face is a jimmy john
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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