Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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