Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
