But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
