belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize