Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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