Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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