it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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