This gyro tastes like lonliness
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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