I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
