So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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