you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Hippo gnu deer
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
