I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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