Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize
