she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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