i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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