so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
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