weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
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