chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
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