Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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