Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
