Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
