I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Randomize