Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
This is classic penis vs brain.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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