do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
