All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Hello my rib-scented angel!
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
