My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
