"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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