i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
