Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I will be naked everywhere
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Randomize
