Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
