is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
