So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
