so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
how can u be prego again
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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