why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
