This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Randomize
